event horizon

this hunger. it's unrelenting. i've eaten too much i've gotten too fat there's no chocolate no cookies left. 

my stomach will burst with it. i will not throw up. 

i hope you see how this isn't like before. 

is it?

i don't know why. i don't know why.

i could swallow universes. 

such stars, aging and dying inside me!
stomach the size of a fist, they say. not so. 

bursting open my belly. giant supernovas, waiting to die. guts spill out down my dress, i try to catch them, slippery heavy things, colors of the cosmos.
red for hydrogen.
red for blood.
nothing where the dark matter lies.

exemplary explosions of suns make neutron stars. all gravity. pulling myself into myself, black hole, all my light. i can't see any more. 

that stench of all that useless food staining my dress. scrambling on my knees to put myself back together, slipping in the blood, in the black, the dark.