finals

almost there we're almost there it's almost done. gravity blanket will come soon. 

blankness will come, be allowed. 

two more to go. 

i have lost control of my sentences and there's one more paper so i'm thinking that's a problem. i can spell velopharyngeal port dysfunction in my sleep but just can't get the hang of coincidentdentally coincedentally coinci fck it. 

there's so much boredom here. 

how can there be bordem boredom with blankets and blankets and cats and vague sunlight through my 19th century window? 

how can there be?

there's no pretty words inside this brainpain brainpan today. i think the first was right. the grip of the mysterious headache condition won't let go, not for finals, not for anything. 

words fall out of my mouth. times new roman. 12 pt font. they'd be double spaced in APA format if they could and i just wish for something else. 

gnawing & clawing &

no that's not right. licking and licking and licking like a dog on a wound boredom. 



stop that. 

fine.

we'll call it for what it is. 

emptiness. 

emptiness is not boredom. emptiness is not fixed with books cats blankets tv shows i'm behind on. 

ok ok know how this goes. refrain. you can't stop yourself singing it, can you?

emptiness is fixed with more emptiness, spooning out the insides pumpkin seeds howwl hollow it out until there's nothing but hipbones left, pressing against the knife.

congratulations, you've broken through.