rendering me inoperable.
boredom of a kind you don't know. you can't know.
boredom of want.
boredom of can't.
boredom of boredom.
boredom and pain and confusion and fear.
how long does the river run? are there beavers here, tangles of trees and mud to block the way, bank to bank? are there dams, to stop it? am i in a tributary a pond a lake?
dams, please stop the rapids.
stones against my skull. lungs breathe in water. people call to me i can't respond.
leave me alone. face the rapids on my own.
i am busy. do not make me responsible for your pity.
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