everyone thinks that i'm fine and maybe i am. i ought to be, it's just another day another sunday another hallmark holiday for cards and candies and yes i've reduced your expectations and mine as well.
but. what you've done to me comes boiling out. i've blisters on my thighs and on my hands and in my heart from you.
tonight i smoke till my lungs bleed because you hate it so much, tomorrow i call you and make nice and say the nice daughter things and it's pain already, choking heart and nausea, blistered throat, blistered tears, but i can't not call because once again you wield the power. you're broken now, your words don't hurt, but you did that damage so long ago before there were words to matter. you don't even know what you did.
i feel infected inside.
thank you mom.
