in general i'm against verticality

i feel the weight of ten thousand atmospheres. trying to rise my chest. i don't understand why others don't feel it. they seem to breathe without crushing. 

am i singular in that i have problems with gravity?

my limbs stick to the earth. supine in the grass. ants can crawl on me i can't move. just feed me raspberries and let me look up at the trees. 


the cat sleeps with his head shoved into the corner of his box. 

i understand the sentiment. 

do we all avoid the world in different ways?

am i the only one with significant problems with gravity, inertia?

physics made an exception for me. have the gravity of a thousand jupiters, it said. only newton's 1st for you. let's see what happens. 

what happens is nothing. which is the only thing that can happen. 

was that your hypothesis?

what a dull experiment. 

lab rat. 

i'm white as one here. i'm white as death. exsanguination. maybe i haven't enough blood to stand up in this gravity. the dizziness, anyway, is a certain. 

white sun, white rat, white skin. 

the world is losing its color. i only see green in the rain anymore. conversion color blindness disorder. probably not a thing. 

my lower eyelids are heavy now. face will slide off soon. maybe it will take its pain with it. 

i keep wanting to take off my face. pain and all. set it aside. like the classic android reveal, only i suppose there's a skull underneath there, not machinery. or they would've fixed me decades ago. 

do you think the gravity will pull me down through the bed through the floor into the core of the earth? it's made partly of nickel, i hear. maybe i'll see magma in its rightful color, maybe then.